Lodge Announcements January 2015

• Moose Thompson’s daughter has announced her engagement to local unskilled labourer, Lefty Pinkerton. Lefty has a history of behavioural issues. He was voted Least Likely to Succeed by his Grade 8 class three years in a row and has been unemployed since the turn of the century. Moose has taken the high road saying he’s not losing a daughter, he’s gaining a dependent.  
  
   
  
  
• Santa Claus is our Member of the Month for obvious reasons.
  
   
  
  
• After a recent ancestry search, our local proctologist has discovered that he is related to royalty and from now on wishes to be addressed as ‘The Finger Prince’.
  
   
  
  
• Look for new submissions in the Photo Gallery, Project Reports and Handyman Corner.
  
   
  
  
• We now have 5 seasons of scripts available as downloadable files at the Possum Lodge Store.
  
   
  
  
• I keep saying this but we’re still working on the complete collection of Campfire Songs (over 200). Ran into a few glitches but we’ll get there.
  
   
  
  
• In a freak accident, Morris Stanton was struck on top of the head by a steel belted radial while admiring his rooftop display of Santa taking gifts out of a K-car. Morris is okay but says he’s ‘tired and everything tastes like rubber.’ As an unexpected side effect, Morris is no longer the tallest man in Possum Lake.
  
   
  
  
• We’re going to simplify our script contest. We’ll post one of my talks next month and ask you to submit your version of it as part of a Red Green lookalike, talkalike and thinkalike contest. More later.
  
   
  
  
• Correction: Our local newspaper The Daily Movement had a misprint in their story about the most recent Town Council meeting. It should have read ‘By the end of the meeting the Mayor was thanked.’ Not tanked.
  
   
  
  
• Have a great January. Stay warm.  I will see you at the next Lodge Meeting on the 31st. Until then, keep your stick on the ice.