Possum Lake’s only pub, The Crashing Boar, has notified its patrons that none of the draft beer taps are working. Moose Thompson has asked the Mayor to declare a national emergency.
For Sale: Flinty McClintock has an item for sale for a reasonable price. He doesn’t know what it is but it’s about five feet long and pretty heavy. One end is hard and sharp, the other is round and fairly spongy. He will accept any reasonable offer. Serious inquiries only.
The promoter has added a show to Red’s mini-tour in November. So it’s now 6 shows: Nov.7 – Taylor MI, Nov. 9 – Vergennes VT, Nov. 11 – Bangor ME, Nov. 12 - Derry, NH, Nov. 13 – Somewhere in MA, and Nov. 14 – Frederick, MD.
Correction: Our local newspaper The Daily Movement would like to apologize for the errors in last week’s article about this year’s Miss Possum Lake. The winner, Amanda Stongfuter, is 28, not 82 as reported. The editor also noticed that they left out the word ‘dog’ when they wrote that Amanda was ‘interested in dog breeding’. As some of you noticed, the photo of Amanda was actually a picture of Stinky Peterson’s hog who was last year’s winner.
Sad news: Soggy McFarlane and his wife have decided to get a divorce. They flew to Las Vegas last month to renew their vows but halfway through the ceremony they couldn’t bring themselves to make the same mistake twice.
Red will be working with the Portable Fuel Container Manufacturers’ Association to promote fire safety. Red has a personal friend who had a nasty accident last year when refueling a hot lawnmower. The fumes exploded and skin grafts ensued. It has a happy ending but we all need to be careful.
Happy Birthday to Canada and the U.S. this month. They were born 91 years apart. To the same mother.
It’s summer. Enjoy the sun but wear your sunblock and don’t take your shirt off if there are women around. They generally have weak stomachs.
Have a great July and until the next meeting, keep your stick on the ice.
Red Green, lodge leader.